"So what is next?," people are starting to ask me, as I draw near to the end of this
trip called the World Race.
"Serving someone else's vision"
is the reply that is on my heart and mind.
I have been intrigued for quite some time at the fact that the Bible
actually has a header for the "Start of Jesus' Ministry." So what was Jesus
doing before he changed the world in 3 years? Well, Luke 2:40 reads, "The child grew and became strong in
spirit, filled with wisdom; and the grace of God was upon Him." Luke
2:52 also reads, "Jesus
increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men."
To me this doesn't sound like a bad NEXT STEP for me.Of course I have dreams, and a heart for
seeing the injustice of human trafficking end, but God is showing me that its
not my time to go head on against that just yet.I am 23 years old, and cultural norms tell me
that I need to be pursing my dreams right about now. If I am not, then I am
lazy, unfocused, or have no vision or goals. I am definitely the one to gladly
chunk any norms out the window! For me, I want to serve someone else's
vision. I want to have that servants heart, to sow into a vision that needs
laborers. A vision that is from God and is making an impact on this world. I
want to get behind someone, and pour out all I have into making that God-given
vision continue and expand!
I am not searching for a vision to serve, I have already found it. I
want to serve the vision of the World Race, that is based in Georgia. I want to
come along, and help out where I can. I want to be in a place that God uses
people like me to pour out into young men and women who need to be awakened to
the deep heart and love of God. I know God used the vessel of the World Race to
awaken me to more of Him, which in turn awakened me to more of myself. The
World Race is great, but it is the people behind the scenes running everything
that God used to speak into my life. There are many great people that are
working there, and my eyes can't help but look to my Savior every time I see
one of these men or women, because his life and love radiates from
them.
So what is next?I am moving to
Georgia to do an apprenticeship with the World Race. I honestly can not tell
you how long I will be there. I know I am Moving there, not the kind of move
you make to do a couple semesters at college then return home for the summer.
My HOME is being redefined, and I am going there until God releases me. Could
be a year could be ten...I am only responsible for my today so that's a relief!
What I need....
From Individuals:
Prayer
Financial
support: Monthly pledges-- one time donations-- a job for the six weeks I will be home (September
and half of October)-- if you know people who are able to support areas where
God is moving please tell them about me or my blog
From Churches:
I know there are a few a people representing
different churches that I have not even been to that are following my
blog--please speak to your church family/our church family on my behalf.
Prayer
Financialsupport (monthly, annually, one time)
A
chance to speak about what God is doing in THE CHURCH around the world
My goal..
For
now, working with the World Race means back to support raising--
My goal is to raise $10,000 every six months, I will try to work
part-time elsewhere to slowly cut my support raising down.If you consider supporting me financially
please keep in mind that you are not supporting me, but what God is doing! God
is doing big things in men and women in our country, that are being changed/
transformed/ awakened to the depths and heights of Christ. God is doing big
things across the globe, and if you can---BE A PART OF IT! Everyone who gives
to what God is doing, plays a part in the sowing and reaping!
Thank
you all so much for reading my blogs throughout the year, and to my friends and
family I appreciate all that you have instilled in me, taught me, and the
support you have given me!
*To support me financially please click the tab on the left that says "SUPPORT ME" and it will explain how to make an online donation*
Sobriety or the state of being Sober is defined by Webster as, "temperate in the use of liquor; not drunk; serious or grave in mood or disposition; having a quiet tone or color."
If I told you that by coming on the World Race I was able to "sober up" during month ten, most of you would wonder what this organization was all about. What kind of organization would let me keep my head buried in a bottle for so long? Why did they not teach me how to walk in freedom with out abusing my freedom? Why did they wait 10 months for me to experience just one day of sobriety?
When I first heard the word, SOBRIETY, used in a different context other than alcohol (Sean Smith last debrief), I was a little confused-- that was until I came to Moldova a month later. Basically the opposite of being sober is being drunk. When you think about it, being drunk is an altered state of reality, and to be sober is to be awakened to reality.
For the very FIRST time in my life, I can honestly say that I have "sobered up". I have been awakened and humbled to a new level of reality-- a pure servants heart.
Let me tell you what I have seen this week:
Grandmother's who have aged like Great-Grandmother's
Women who walk with the help of canes or crutches or
both
Women who take 10 minutes to cross the church lawn,
when it takes me 30 seconds
These same women:
Cook for me and carry food and bowls uphill from their
house just to serve me every meal.
Go milk a cow and boil the milk so that I can have an
evening snack of milk and cookies.
Walk from their house to the church countless times a day just to see me.
Smile every second they are around me, and melt my heart.
Kneel at the altar, despite the pain in their joints, to intercede.
Beg/ cry for me to stay at their houses for the night because their husbands and children are
either dead or gone!
All this for me?
What about them?THEY are the ones who have worked so hard their whole life just to survive, just to work extra hard now to serve me! I wish I could be the one serving them. Every minute I spend with these grandmothers I get a picture of Heaven. I see everyone in Heaven, and I see everyone asking each other who the women are that are seated so close to Jesus' throne. I will be able to say, "I know who they are! They are the 'Nobody's' from Moldova that served their guts out for him!" Only a handful of people outside of this village, even know the names of these women. Yet, they don't care! Jesus knows their name, and that is all that matters!
I aspire to have our Father's heart for everyone I meet, just like these women. I want to spend my life serving my guts out for the person next to me! My eyes have been truly unveiled at a deeper level to the reality of IT IS NOT ABOUT ME ! So thank you grandmother's of Moldova for taking away the "bottle of I" and humbling me to see a servants heart clearly!
Everyone has a voice....BUT everyone doesn't tap into it.....I have started to tap into mine...
I literally thought God changed my voice, but I think in REALITY, he helped me discover my true voice down, deep inside of me!
I can not begin to tell you what happened to me the past two weeks in Berlin, Germany and I honestly do not even want to try. It is more of a face-to-face conversation worth having, all this typing does not do it an ounce of justice. But here is a glimpse of a glimpse of what God did in my life the past two weeks...
"I'm Just Hanging On,"is a phrase I started hearing when I came on the World Race. At our training camp I would hear different staff say that, "I am just hanging on," when they would refer to their lives. Every time I heard that phrase, I did not understand. "Isn't that a bad thing?" my mind would say each time.
Fast Forward 11 months, and I am understanding that phrase. I am living that phrase. For me "just hanging on" means God is calling you to something WAY BIGGER than yourself, and you better be hanging on to him, or you will not be able to do what he is calling you to!
For this season, God has asked me to go deeper in worship. He has led me to "lead" in worship ...
[This month my team and Melina's team were in Berlin partnering with Burn 24/7. Burn is a movement to have worship, more specifically, vertical intercession through music. It may be in a building or at a park, and people from all walks of life unite to worship and intercede for their city, 24 hours a day 7 days a week. The BURN in Berlin is still new, so it is not everyday yet. My team was able to be a part of a 24 hour BURN session last weekend, which we were given two hours to worship and intercede.]
Our first night in Berlin, I was worshiping the love of my life, and a few minutes later a new song was birthed through me. From that moment I was so pumped to see what God was going to do the rest of the week. That was NOTHING compared to what God did. I could write about how several of us were worshiping and then we began to hear angels sing (LITERALLY). I could tell you about our amazing contacts that truly live the life God is calling all of us to. I could tell you about their children, one at age five is prophesying and speaking life into people. I could even write about the many places we worshiped, such as the Berlin wall. I could try to explain how every single team member experienced a new freedom in their worship. I could tell you that my worship through song was transformed to intercession through song. But I CAN NOT go into detail about all that through a computer. I CAN NOT even process half of what happened to me the past two weeks. I wish I could sit down and give you all a play by play of the journey God sprinted me through the past two weeks, but it is not possible for me to do that.
So here is what I can say, I have been awakenedto a deep hunger and excitement in my soul. There is a part of me I had NO IDEA was there. I "led" worship from guitar and I opened my mouth to sing Him praises. If you knew me before a couple weeks ago, you would KNOW that I do not sing. I do not sing in front of my family, my closest friends, or in front of ANYONE! Well not anymore, something broke in me. I could not/CAN NOT stop singing! I sing about my love for God, about His love for me, and I even sing my prayers over nations and people. In fact, there are moments, that the voice that sings out of me has NO volume control. The deep worship that overflows from my mouth can not be quiet sometimes, and it is stinking LOUD! If I cared what other people thought, I would probably be embarrassed, BUT I DON'T. This freedom is changing me, changing others, changing the atmosphere. God is allowing me to be a conduit of his love, and I am only seeking HIM.
I am starting to see a glimpse of the reality that God is calling me to something way bigger than myself. I could barely recognize a deep, deep part of me. I was convinced God changed my voice, but He assured me I always had it, but NEVER tapped into it. I know there is so much more to tap into in numerous aspects of my life, and I intend to. I intend to use every ounce of what God's grace gives me. I do not want to live at 75% of my potential. I refuse to!
I wanted to share this part of my life with all of you, because I know everyone still has deeper things to tap in to! I just want to encourage you to go deeper. YOU determine what you tap into with our God. YOU determine how much of your potential you will walk in! It is by GOD's Grace we have been given so much potential-- so find HIM. Find what HE has in store for you. FIND HIS HEART!
I'm sorry I don't have more. Check out my teammates blogs on the left because they have been blogging about Germany.
So I intended to write some very detailed blogs about our Ask The Lord experience (read previous blog if you do not know what I am talking about). However, God has been moving so much in my life that I am having a difficult time processing. Therefore I am only writing one blog on the ATL experience. The following is a glimpse of what happened last week.
We went to the train station in Bistrita, Romania. We prayed before we bought a ticket, and told God we wanted to give this week to Him. We didn't want to spend money, and we wanted to put our complete trust in God to provide in every way. From that point on we had a spirit-filled miraculous week.
Every person that we met (that could speak English) was used by God to help us and direct us in our steps for the day. Every time we got on a train, or arrived at a train station, or were presented with options on our next step, we would stop and pray until we heard God's voice clearly. It reminded me a lot of the old school "choose your own adventure" books. You know the books, where at the end of each page you were presented with two options to either take a left on the street (turn to page 47), or climb the mountain in front of you (turn to page 63). I felt like I was living one of those books this week.
To make a long story short, God directed 6 Americans in the middle of Romania from a train station to a monastery on a mountain. God put people in our paths all day to direct us to an orthodox monastery on the side of a mountain-- that looked like it should be on a post card (I was given one after my stay)! We were given free lodging and free meals.
The next day we were asked to leave, because after the MASS we attended we were CLEARLY not part of the Romanian Orthodox Church. As God kept leading us, a door was opened to stay at another monastery that would let us stay through the week, even though they knew what we believed. We would be given free rooms and meals all week, yet something didn't set well. Were we so focused on God providing us with free meals and free housing, that we would take that motive for ATL over another direction God wanted to take us? Maybe God was directing us to something different ,that would use our WR budget for food and housing, to put us in the middle of a city that needed his Kingdom to fall in the atmosphere. We declined the free meals and housing and took a train to the 2nd largest city in Romania.
It was here that God began to move in and through us in Worship. We worshiped everywhere. We walked around the city with a guitar, drum, and drumsticks to worship our Father in the midst of a materialistic/stagnate atmosphere. The amazing part was that God led us on a journey to where we felt like going-- through road signs. We followed a sign that said MALL--> (this way). These signs took us on a 7 mile walk, to be conservative, and on the way God highlighted a university campus, and a city square to worship in! It was because of this obedience that some of us got completely set free and wrecked at our debrief this week.
I eventually want to put up the lessons I learned through this experience. Some parts of it were SO difficult, but in the end we learned so much about ourselves and our GOD. If you want to know more send me a message, but this is just a glimpse of how God ordained our every step for 5 days!
So what happens when a WORLD RACER’S ministry for the month is cut short, due to another missions team being booked at the same time as us for our last few days of ministry???
FOR ME and FIVE OTHERS…the following…
According to the world wide web the average person takes 5,000 steps a dau. That would be 136,875,000 steps in a solid lifetime (75 years). Whether or not that is accurate doesn't really matter, THE POINT IS: we take a lot of steps in life!
With that many steps in our life, how many do we actually pray about? I mean, we can’t possibly pray before every single footstep, but we must need to pray about more than just the steps that change our directions (X‘s). Right?
The little "choices we make today determine our tomorrow"--Unknown
The journey TO our destinations is just as important as THE destinations. It is the times when we are “stepping” that we can potentially cross paths with people God puts in our way. What if God wants us to take “pauses,” or walk around “cul-de-sacs” along our way? Would we hear him, or would we be sprinting too fast to our destination? I don’t want to miss a thing that God has for me.
IMPORTANT: PRE-ATL COMING UP IMPORTANT: PRE-ATL COMING UP
Tomorrow begins my pre- ATL/ Ask. The. Lord., with 5 others from the WR OCT 2009 Squad--Kelsie Dawe, Sydnee Mela, Annie Walker, Tyson Payne, and Will Jung. We will set out to live completely by faith.
We will go to a train station and pray for guidance on where to go (Step 1). Once on the train, we will pray for guidance on where to get off (Step 2). Once we get off the train, we will literally be praying step by stepon where to go, who to meet, where/who to serve-- EVERYTHING. We have NO PLANS. We don’t even want to spend money, except on our train ticket.
I want to learn to trust God with my life. These next 4-5 days will be so stretching. HOWEVER, if I can learn to trust God, discern his voice, and obey, THEN “the sky is the limit” (for lack of better clichéish comments to insert here) to where he could lead me in my lifetime!
I want to live by prayer, faith, listening, and obedience. I will take that vehicle any day of the week, over my limited, impatient, unknowing, self!!!
Side note: I’ve decided the whole predestination/free will debate is something I don’t really give 2 cents about. I want to spend my lifetime with God. I want to sit at his feet, and know his voice. I know with his almighty power to see my past, present, and future at the same time, and his ability to make all things work together for good, that I am set. I CHOOSE to be led by the ALL-KNOWING Savior of my life. Shoot, He knows where, how, with who, and when is best to utilize my gifts and talents for his Kingdom, so why the heck would I try to figure it out on my own?
HERE WE ARE LORD, GUIDE US!
I am going to journal about our experience daily, and bring you alongside in my stretching for more. I will probably not post any of them until I get internet and can space them out, so check back-- in about a week or so! PRAY FOR US!
The best part about having the team "Second Mile" with my team this month, is the fact that they make great videos! So here is another video of our time so far in Romania. This one was made by Annie Walker!!!
jesus won’t walk 100 yards for YOU, not even for this girl pictured!!!
This is the message being preached to the small gypsy community I visited today. This is the message the Romanian church down the street screams with their actions and words. The village we went to today consists mostly of Romanians, except for one street of Gypsies who are looked down upon, ignored, and avoided. They are supposed to keep to themselves, and are not to interact or come into the Romanian part of the village.
The people who profess to be Christ followers from this village, seem to fit into the second group mentioned in Matthew 25.
“Then he will say unto those on the left hand, ‘Depart from me, you cursed, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angels: for I was hungry and you gave me no food; I was thirsty and you gave me no drink; I was a stranger and you did not take me in, naked and you did not clothe me, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.’ Then they also will answer him saying, ‘Lord when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not minister to you?’ Then he will answer them, saying, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.’”
Matthew 25:41-46
They are HUNGRY (physically and spiritually) yet go unfed…
They are thirsty (spiritually) yet go unquenched…
They are naked and go unclothed…
They are the least of these and NO ONE comes…
People from across the world have come to visit these Gypsies, but the “jesus” in the “church” down the street will have nothing to do with this community that live 100 yards down the road.
When the children followed us to our car, some Romanians told them to go back to their homes and get away. Honestly, the Romanians and gypsies don’t look that much different from each other. YET, the hate the Romanians have towards the gypsies could be comparable to how the blacks probably felt in America years ago.
It is sad that the Romanians in this area claim to be Christ followers, but when it comes to his word they pick and choose what they want to follow and obey. They obviously have marked out the verse that commands us to love our neighbor as ourselves. I bet the people that attend the church down the road will be real surprised who makes it to Heaven and who doesn’t on judgment day, because I know God loves these gypsies with all His heart. And eternal life is available to them just as much it is available to the Romanians.
I know my JESUS would and does walk 100 yards to meet these gypsies where they are at.
Five of us and a translator set out for ministry this afternoon (with short notice), and headed to a very, very small gypsy village. Our translator had mentioned something about music, so I grabbed the guitar on my way out the door. In the car, we realized we had a guitar, a Frisbee, and a bag of candy to work with.
This gypsy village wasn’t very large, but fifteen to twenty kids came outside to hang out with us. We played on the single street going through this gypsy community. The first woman we talked to had two children, but her husband had left her for another woman. The house we played outside of was owned by a few women, who prostituted themselves for an income. The children of this village are very poor, and lack many needs and definitely wants.
We didn’t come to this street to change their living conditions, we didn’t come to preach at them, or even feed them, but what we did bring was love. Our LOVE today came in the form of a guitar. I played a song that I wrote, and worshipped from my heart on the side of the rode. A couple kids stood near, and said they liked the music, little did they know I was trying to bring Heaven closer to Earth. Our LOVE today also came in the form of a frisbee. A couple people from team “Second Mile” spent quality time with some of the older kids, by teaching them how to throw a frisbee. For all we know, that was the first frisbee they have every thrown. Our LOVE today was tasty, as well. Each child got a few pieces of candy, which we were told is a real treat. These families do not have money, they have their farm crops and that’s it. There is no buying of treats for kids.
We ended the day with an old fashioned game of “RED LIGHT GREEN LIGHT.” These kids had a blast, and I know God is still replaying the track of their laughter over and over again. Lifestyle Christianity is just loving God and loving others. It doesn’t take a plan and lots of money. It just takes your heartbeat and Gods' heartbeat colliding, and for us-- a guitar, a frisbee, and a bag of candy!
This is a video that my friend Sydnee Mela made of our time in Romania so far. Don't get too excited, I am not in it too much haha! I hope you get a little glimpse of our life here this month!!
Thanks Sydnee for using your talent for us to share!!
It has been awhile since I have posted a blog, mainly because after I left Nigeria I began to realize just how heavy the things I saw and experienced actually were to me. So I guess I’ve been on break, and the fact that I have been a little lazy with writing in general contributes to my lack of blogging.
So here is what’s new:
I am in Romania, in a small gypsy village up north. It is the most beautiful countryside I have EVER seen! The people here are amazing. The kids and the elderly are some of the most beautiful people I have EVER met. Our ministry this month is a little more laid back/ lifestyle ministry. We are living with the gypsies in their community, and doing life with them. We have bonfires with worship, we lead Bible studies on Wednesdays, do church on Sundays, go door-to-door to meet people and help where we can, play soccer at an indoor complex with some of the younger men, help with yard work or painting, and anything else in between.
As for me, I started picking up guitar in Togo, and I led worship from guitar for the first time in my life, yesterday! I feel called to start a Bible study on Esther for the 5-6 women that are always at our house. I hurt my ankle in soccer last Wednesday, but after 2 days of not walking I am recuperating just fine!
The following is some random stuff that will give you insight to our time here so far:
* I jumped in a lake with all my clothes on…AGAIN (Thailand).
* A girl got stuck on our car bumper, and was dragged for a couple minutes (how does that
happen?)….she is fine though!
* USA vs. ROMANIA soccer is tied at 1-1, but we will have another game this week to find out
who is the best.
* One of the Romania players plays in his boxers and its weird.
* For our food this month, our contacts killed a WHOLE pig, and it is all in one freezer for us!!!
* My team and team “Second Mile” is having an “Olympic contest” to find out which team is more
awesome….games begin tonight hopefully!
* A couple of us danced with a gypsy guy, but we were all pretty bad.
* The kids that live at our house like to put dead fish from the lake in bottles and bags, and call
them pets.
* Another kid, has a fetish with tables, and must lick ALL tables, ALL the way around at least
once!
* Schedules mean nothing in this village, just like Africa.
* “You come!” is a phrase we hear 1,000 times a day by the two kids living at our house.
* When a semi passes the house, my wall shakes!
* Horse and carriage is a normal form of transportation for many people.
* If we have to push our van a couple times a day before/during travel, then it’s a good day.
* When pushing the van be very aware, because once the van starts the brakes will slam, but if you
are still pushing you run face first into the window (yup I learned that one)!
Finally, an update on what my near future entails…
Our ministry at this village ends a little early, so before debrief we were given the opportunity to have a few days off to relax, HOWEVER, team “Second Mile” and myself will be doing a pre-ATL. We are going to the train station to buy a ticket to wherever God leads, and we will serve there for a few days before debrief. I will probably blog about that experience, but I can’t promise any blogs between now and then.
Also, the first half of next month, my team will most likely be going to Berlin to partner with BURN BERLIN, which does 24/7 worship/intercession. There is a whole lot more to that, but I will just let you know more once I get there.
**I will also be posting a video Sydnee Mela made about our time here so far. Thank you to everyone who has read, prayed, supported me so far!